10.11.2009

happy half-birthday!

My sweet baby boy,

Where does the time go?


6 months ago, today, I held you for the first time. I looked into your beautiful face and knew that my life would never be the same. I loved you so much, with all of my being, and I instantly realized that this time would go by way too fast. And I mourned the loss of you - being with me - every moment of every day.

The next 4 weeks I spent almost every waking moment holding you and staring in wonder at your beautiful face. I could hardly let you go, even to share you with all of the people who love you and wanted to get to know you. I knew then, as I do now, that my grip on you would fade more and more each day for the rest of my life. And I slowly loosened my grip to allow others into your life.

But as my grip fades - I pray that my place in your heart grows. I pray for you every day. Every moment that passes, you are on my mind and in my heart. I pray that you would listen to the words God has given for you, and that you would find a true, personal relationship with Him. I pray that your heart would be open to His calling in your life. I pray for your health and your safety. I pray for your future wife. For the family you will one day have, Lord willing. For the love you will share with those around you. And I pray most of all that I would be able to be there for you, and that I would get to be a part of the rest of your life.

I know that is a selfish prayer, but life is so fleeting. And even though I know there is a better Home waiting for us, I can't help but want to spend as much time as God will allow on this earth - being your mom. I was made to be your mom. I have loved you and prayed for you and waited for you for most of my life. And you are so much more than I ever could have imagined!

I love you, my sweet, sweet boy. I will always love you.
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