I truly believe there is no worse heart-pain as a parent than not being able to take care of your child.  Whatever the reason... whether they are sick, you are sick, you are apart or things are just bigger than you can handle... nothing hurts as much as not being able to care for your child.  At least that's how I feel.

God created us, as parents, to care for our children.  To love them, to cherish them, to protect them and to raise them up (in the way they should go!).  When something happens that interferes with those instincts, it is so painful.

A few weeks ago I got sick.  Miserably sick.  Yes, it may have been just the flu...  but being 7+ months pregnant and having the flu is a much different thing than having the flu as an otherwise healthy non-pregnant person.  When you have a strong contraction every time you throw up (sorry for the TMI on this usually food-related blog!) and then end up having regular contractions at 33 weeks for several hours the next day because of dehydration, things can get pretty scary.

Even worse than that, for me, was the knowledge that I couldn't take care of Bjørn when he needed me.  I couldn't pick him up, hold him, or care for him because my body wouldn't let me, and I felt so lost...  so helpless.  We happened to be at my parents house when I got sick, and I am so grateful that they were there for us.  I don't know what I would have done if we had been at home alone!

I am lucky.  Or rather, I am blessed.  My Father had his arms wrapped around my family and we were protected and are fine.  And I have never been more grateful!  In the depths of my helplessness, I was reminded of how wonderful it is to be healthy and whole.  Every day, I am trying to remind myself to enjoy the not-so-helpless days, even when they don't feel so great, because things could always be much, much worse!
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