flops and failures...

I feel like I have been having more flops and failures than successes in the kitchen these days.

I just can't seem to focus long enough to do anything right the first time, and so I often find myself giving up...  or falling back onto tried and true favorites that I can make in my sleep.

Because apparently that's pretty much what I'm doing these days...  'sleep-cooking'.

I know I've done this before, but I just can't believe sometimes how exhausting it is to be pregnant.  In my experience, it really is much harder to be pregnant and have a toddler than it is to have a newborn and a toddler (or two)!

I miss my creative drive.  I miss being able to take all these fascinating ideas that still flow through my thoughts and my dreams and have them turn out beautifully onto a plate before me that I can proudly share with people I love.

I miss being able to cook something and always know that at least I would enjoy it!  (Right now my life is more consumed with "what will I be able to cook and actually eat without losing my appetite?")

I miss thriving in the one place that always felt like I was in control.  I miss being proud of everything I create.  I miss it all!

But...  In my heart I know that this is just a season that I am in.

And I know that it will be oh so worth it in the end!

I will have a beautiful baby in my arms who will remind me every moment that the memory-loss, the exhaustion and the mood-swings were worth it.

That every forgotten ingredient and messed up dish was worth it.  That the loss of food-love and the frustration of missing my passion was worth it.

I want you all to know that I am still here.  There is still cooking going on (when I'm not napping!) and thoughts being swirled around...  and I will keep things up here as much as possible!

Please forgive me if this blog gets a little quiet or somewhat consumed with pregnancy ramblings for awhile.  It's just the place that I am in right now...

But I promise this season won't last forever and I will be back to my food-loving, constantly-creating-self soon enough!!

In case you were wondering, this picture has absolutely nothing to do with this post, except that I don't like to post without pictures and I would love to be eating a bowl of these right now!  :o)

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