I just can't seem to focus long enough to do anything right the first time, and so I often find myself giving up... or falling back onto tried and true favorites that I can make in my sleep.
Because apparently that's pretty much what I'm doing these days... 'sleep-cooking'.
I know I've done this before, but I just can't believe sometimes how exhausting it is to be pregnant. In my experience, it really is much harder to be pregnant and have a toddler than it is to have a newborn and a toddler (or two)!
I miss my creative drive. I miss being able to take all these fascinating ideas that still flow through my thoughts and my dreams and have them turn out beautifully onto a plate before me that I can proudly share with people I love.
I miss being able to cook something and always know that at least I would enjoy it! (Right now my life is more consumed with "what will I be able to cook and actually eat without losing my appetite?")
I miss thriving in the one place that always felt like I was in control. I miss being proud of everything I create. I miss it all!
But... In my heart I know that this is just a season that I am in.
And I know that it will be oh so worth it in the end!
I will have a beautiful baby in my arms who will remind me every moment that the memory-loss, the exhaustion and the mood-swings were worth it.
That every forgotten ingredient and messed up dish was worth it. That the loss of food-love and the frustration of missing my passion was worth it.
I want you all to know that I am still here. There is still cooking going on (when I'm not napping!) and thoughts being swirled around... and I will keep things up here as much as possible!
Please forgive me if this blog gets a little quiet or somewhat consumed with pregnancy ramblings for awhile. It's just the place that I am in right now...
But I promise this season won't last forever and I will be back to my food-loving, constantly-creating-self soon enough!!
In case you were wondering, this picture has absolutely nothing to do with this post, except that I don't like to post without pictures and I would love to be eating a bowl of these right now! :o)
