why I am hurting... and holding my loves

My friend lost her 5 1/2 month old baby boy last night.  He has struggled and yet thrived since his birth 11 weeks premature, but still his loss is unexpected and painful.  So painful.   I can't imagine her pain right now...  or her family's pain.

On the other side of the country, I never even got to meet this angel boy... but I hurt for the loss of his sweet little life.  And I am grieving today with my friend.

I haven't seen her in years, but I would love to be near her now... to be able to hold her and pray for her and cry with her.

will pray for her and cry with her.  And I will hold my loves close.  Maybe that's all I can do.

Today we will also gather to mourn & celebrate the much too short life of my laughing, loving, sweet Uncle who recently passed away.  Again...  he was fighting a battle, but the battle had just begun and he had so much more life to live.  His death was so unexpected and so painful.

With each loss, I am reminded how short and fragile life really is.  How each breath truly may be our last, and how each moment matters most...  right now.

Does it really matter if my toddler is just trying to push back naptime by asking for one more "hug mommy?"  Or is it more important to focus on the hug and live in the moment that just may be our last?

After a day filled with naps missed & naps ruined, temper tantrums & meltdowns, bumps & bruises and tears & more tears...  I wouldn't trade this life for the world.

And I would take a million more days just like it if that would keep them in my arms.

(If you happen to read this, K...  I am praying for you sweet friend.  I will continue to pray for you each day.  Every time I hug my boys I will pray for you.  I love you!)

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